


Where Is He?

by Anonymous



Category: Gaya Sa Pelikula (Web Series)
Genre: Breakfast, Family, KarlVlad, M/M, Medication (Pills), Mention Of Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29577225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Karl suffers from hallucinations of Vlad, his boyfriend who just passed away. Due to the trauma, he seems to forget that his partner is already dead and continues "living" with him. However, every time he takes his medications, Vlad disappears and Karl gets fragments of his memories back. How will Karl deal with this harsh reality?
Relationships: Karl Frederick Almasen/Jose Vladimir Austria
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35
Collections: Kilometer Zero: A GSP Prompt Fest 2021





	Where Is He?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, just a warning, as mentioned in the tags part, there might be mentions of homophobia in this story, so if you're not comfortable with such issues/topics, you might wanna click away or beware before continuing. Besides that, I hope you enjoy this little fic of mine, happy reading!

A gloomy morning, as the now gray sky, gets filled with several clouds, covering the sky, darkening the place even more. Two men, a couple, sitting across each other on the dining table, the cute-faced one staring intently at the curly-haired guy. Karl and Vlad.

“Masarap ba?” Karl asked as he tries to read the expression on Vlad’s face. He’s nervous, probably because he just tried that new recipe for their breakfast, and also because it’s the first time he let Vlad taste any of his cooking. Vlad coughed, startling Karl, as he asked once again, “masarap ba?” his voice now more nervous than before.

Vlad wiped his mouth with a napkin, “well,” he started talking, Karl moved his face closer, being more anxious now that Vlad started talking. Vlad turned to Karl, their face just an inch apart, which he took advantage of, closing the gap between them, earning him a slap on his shoulders and a deadly glare from the other.

“Naman, e, seryoso na kasi,” Karl exclaimed, as he glares at the other, which in turn laugh at his silliness. However, that laugh fades, as Vlad pouted, then looked at Karl, attempting to look cute to him. Well, he always looks adorable to Karl anyway.

Vlad looks at Karl, pout still intact in his face, eyes trying to mirror a puppy’s whenever they want attention, “bakit? Ayaw mo’kong halikan?” he asks, his expression turning cuter as he looks at Karl. Karl, hearing Vlad’s answer, rolled his eyes, he doesn’t want Vlad’s ‘pagtatampo’ this early in the morning, does he? Especially knowing what the other would ask just to ease his ‘tampo.’

“Vlad,” he said, threat and danger can be heard as he says the boy’s name, but Vlad doesn’t seem to care. Instead, he rolled his eyes as an answer, his arms now crossed as he tries to look somewhat angry, but still looking cute, in Karl’s eyes anyway. “Vlad,” he calls once again, now softer, trying to woo the owner of the name. ‘Napaka-matampuhin talaga nito,’ he thought, while trying to grab the other’s arm, repeatedly saying his name, but still to no avail.

Vlad talked, "bahaladiyan," his low voice sounds cute once again, however, he then stood up, pouting, arm crossed, then walked to the couch, turning his back on Karl. “Huy, Vlad,” he tried to call, but the other didn’t answer, instead he leaned unto the couch, not minding Karl’s calls. “Vlad, huy, dito na, kain na tayo, lalamig na yung pagkain oh,” he said, once again trying to get the other’s attention, but instead the other answered with an eye-roll.

“Bahala ka diyan, ‘kaw mag-isa kumain diyan,” he answered back, then picked the orca plushy up, and slammed it unto Karl. Although the plush is soft, Karl still reacted as if hurt, well he seems hurt by Vlad's sudden cold shoulder.

“Aray,” Karl answered, as the soft plush hit his shoulder, he turns around, a deadly glare now targeting the other boy. But the boy still didn’t budge, his arms still crossed, not minding the glare Karl is giving him. “Vlad,” Karl once again called, now more threatening, then he stood up and walked up to Vlad.

Vlad looked up, as the other stand in front of him, hands resting on his waist, face looking pissed off now, but still he didn’t surrender, “ano?” he asked, irritation can be heard from his voice, but Karl seems to be more annoyed now, as his eyes continue glaring Vlad.

Karl rolled his eyes, then breathed deeply, trying to calm his self down, then asked, “napano ka na naman?” Although he tried to sound calm, his voice still radiates irritation. Vlad, trying to maintain his annoyed façade, looked down, pout forming bigger than earlier. Karl, then, sat down, as he tries to compose himself. “Vlad,” he called, irritation seems to fade as he glances at the adorable face the other is making.

Vlad answered with a simple hum, as he tries not to look at Karl, he might melt with the guy's beautiful eyes, eyes staring at the floor. Karl, hands landing at the other’s lap, trying to get this attention, his eyes pleading to Vlad to look at him, as he repeatedly calls his name. “Anong gusto mo?” he asks, trying to thaw the coldness of the other, his voice softens as his head rests on his shoulder, his lips close to the other’s ear, blowing air in it, softly saying the guy’s name, as the other turn his face to him, a smile formed on Karl’s lips.

As Vlad turns his head to Karl, their face an inch close, his eyes lands on Karl’s, his pout starting to fade. “Kiss mo’ko,” he answered, his eyes now staring at the other’s lips. Karl, mimicking his lover’s moves, staring at the guy’s lips now, as he lightly nods, and kissed the boy. At first, Karl only planned to kiss the boy for a second, a peck even, but Vlad has other plans. As their lips lock, Vlad held the other’s waist, moving him closer to him, startling Karl, but he responded anyway.

“Nakainom ka na nang gamot?” Vlad suddenly asked. Karl turns to him, eyes widening, his mouth forming an O, and repeatedly shakes his head, he forgot obviously. Vlad laughed at the reaction of the other, “masyado bang masarap almusal kaya nalimutan mo,” Vlad said, a teasing smile forming in his lips, earning another slap from Karl. “Oh, bakit? Hindi ba masarap naman yung niluto mo? O baka ibang almusal iniisip mo?” and another teasing laugh ensued, Karl just rolled his eyes at the playfulness the other is showing.

Karl stood up, “bahala ka diyan,” he stated, then went upstairs, as the other’s laugh fade in the background, getting the medicine Vlad was mentioning. His pills placed on top of his bedside table, an orange container, he picked it up, making a sound of pills crashing to each other, as he opened the container, pouring one to his hand. He put the pill in his mouth, resting in his tongue, a slightly bitter taste, he got the glass of water and drank it.

As he swallowed the pill, he felt something strange. He seemed to remember something he forgot, but he can’t seem to know what it is. An awkward feeling clouds him, as his feet led him downstairs, with no one around. Silence filled the room, the pouring rain the only sound heard, as he keeps searching around.

“Vlad?” he called, ‘baka nasa banyo,’ he thought, but the bathroom door was wide open, and no one was there. He searched for the boy, trying to find traces of where he might have gone, but nothing. There’s nothing that he can find, not even the undone dishes at the sink. He sat down the couch, picking up the soft plush, and laid down, ‘saan nagpunta yun?’ his mind last thought, before darkness engulfed him.

Karl opens his eyes, soft knocks waking him up from his slumber, he sat down on the couch, wiping the sleep from his eyes. ‘Baka si Vlad na yun,’ he thought, as he stood up, too excitingly as he felt a slight headache, and came running to the door. As he opened it, but it wasn’t the person he was expecting.

“Tito Sants?” he called, as the person smiled at him. “Ano pong ginagawa niyo rito?” he asked after letting his uncle get inside. He closed the door, as he sees his ‘Tito’ standing beside him, his arms spread wide, inviting him from a hug, to which he responded immediately.

“Pangkin, namiss lang kita,” he said, as their hug went tighter. As their hug ends, Tito Sants turns to Karl, noticing the disappointment the other shows, “oh, bakit parang disappointed ka? May hinihintay ka kanina, no?” he asked, a teasing smile forming on his lips, Karl shakes his head as a response.

“Hindi naman po, hindi ko lang alam na bibisita pala kayo,” he answered, of course, he wouldn’t say he’s actually waiting for someone else. “Bakit nga po pala kayo napabisita?” he asked, trying to change the topic, as they both sat down on the couch.

“Asus, may hinihintay ka, eh,” Tito Sants once again teased, “oh, siya, matanda ka na, kaya mo na sarili mo pagdating diyan,” he added, “saka, pumunta ako, kasi, di’ba malapit nang mag-,” he paused, seemingly trying to find the right words, hesitating if he should continue or not, rubbing Karl's hand with his, maybe trying to calm him down from what he's about to say, “pasko, malapit nang magpasko. Gusto ko sana umuwi ka muna-,” however, Karl cut him off.

“Hindi na po, ayos na ko rito,” he said, trying to avoid what his Tito was trying to say. He knew what he would say, and he doesn’t want to hear it. “Hindi ba nga po , sabi ninyo na matanda ko, kaya ko na po ritong mag-isa,” he added, trying to convince his Tito, trying to stop him from continuing what he was trying to say.

“Pangkin,” Tito Sants called, “alam ko namang galit ka pa rin sa nangyari, pero, pagpasensyahan mo na muna,” he added, desperation can be heard from his voice, he just wants Karl to forgive his parents, that’s all. He knew what Karl would respond to this, that he would refuse, but still, he tried.

Karl shakes his head, once again, “ako pa po ba yung kailangang magpasensya sa nangyari?” he answered. Hearing this, Tito Sants’ optimism fades, seeing as Karl is still not ready to forget that. “Bakit, parang kasalanan ko pa pong,” Karl paused for a second, as he sighed, releasing the heaviness from his chest, yet it’s still heavy, “hindi ako katulad nang inaakala nila?” He finished, as he looks at his ‘Tito’, his tears about to fall down.

“Karl,” Tito Sants called, now in his real name, “naiintindihan ko yang nararamdaman mo, kasi ako rin dati hindi rin naman ako agad tinanggap.” He tried to convince, maybe if he said those words, Karl would hear him out.

Instead, Karl replied, “parang magkaiba naman po tayo,” he said, stopping once again to breathe, “kasi kayo po hindi naman po kayo sinubukang ipa-rehab, di’ba po? Hindi naman po kayo sinabihang ‘mababalik ka pa namin sa normal,’ di’ba po? Hindi naman po kayo yung pinadala kung saan-saan para magamot tong kabaklaan ko, di’ba po?” he said, as tears fall down, sobbing between every word he said. Tito Sants tries to hug him, but he evaded, instead he stood up, went upstairs, leaving his 'Tito' dumbfounded, lost for words. 

Now we see Karl, laying down the couch, both his hands holding the orca plush up his chest to his face, the plush soaked with his tears. His sobs filling the unit, his cries echoing, the guy’s name repeatedly heard. Then a voice called his name.

“Karl?”

As he heard his name being called, he turned to the door, after a clank of keys, it opened. And there he is, the guy he’s crying about, the name he calls. “Vlad,” he exclaimed, jumping out the couch, hugging the guy entering, dropping two bags Vlad’s holding down the floor. Vlad, shocked by Karl’s sudden hugging, unconsciously rubbed the guy’s hair, tightening their hug even more.

“Hey, I’m here, I’m here. You can calm down na,” Vlad said, trying to calm Karl down, but he didn’t. Karl cried, even harder than earlier, his face buried down the guy’s neck, as his sobs once again fill the room.

Karl hugs Vlad tighter, as he cries and cries and cries. “Akala ko nawala ka ulit, akala ko umalis ka ulit. Vlad, di ko kayang mawala ka ulit, akala ko mag-isa nanaman ako, akala ko iniwan mo na naman ako. Di ko na alam gagawin ko kung mawala ka ulit-,” he said, as Vlad hugs him back, his right hand caressing the other’s hair, trying to calm him down.

“I’m here na, Karl. I told you, di’ba? You can call my name, I’ll be there. Lilingon ako, pupuntahan kita,” Vlad said, his voice barely understandable as he tried to suppress his own tears and sob, mumbling words even he doesn’t understand, but if it could calm his lover, he’ll say those words repeatedly. 

“Karl, tahan na,” Vlad said, still trying to calm him down. But he, himself, can’t help but cry. Tears falling down Vlad’s eyes as he hears Karl’s painful sobs, he doesn’t want to hear Karl crying. He really doesn’t. “Nandito na ako.”

The two, now sitting on the floor, their bodies hugging one another as they stare at the turned-off tv in front of them, their reflection showing through the darkness of the screen. Karl, stopping from his crying now, feeling the warmth of Vlad’s body as their bodies perfectly fit the other.

“What happened?” Vlad broke the silence, turning to Karl, his eyes now staring at the person beside him. Karl smiled, a sad one, as he tried to compose himself and looked at Vlad.

Karl looked back down, tears once again starting to form in his eyes, but he doesn’t want Vlad to see it. His hands trembling as he started talking, his voice trembles as well as he started talking, “dumating si Tito Sants,” Vlad hums in response, his fullest attention focused on Karl. 

“Tapos,” he continued, breathing deeply, he wiped his cheeks, as tears started falling down, that even he can’t stop it, “pinipilit niya akong umuwi, kasi, pasko raw,” he said, his hands continue trembling, holding the one to the other, as he looked back up at Vlad, who stares at him, his eyes showing different emotions; concern, sadness, even guilt.

“What did you say?” Vlad asked, even though at the back of his mind, he didn’t wanna ask. Because he already knows the answer to that question. “Did you try to hide me away from them again?” he added. He didn’t want to say it, he didn’t want to, but he can’t stop himself. As he asked that question, Karl escaped his hold, his face revealing his shocked state, as he stares at the guy, his eyes wanting an explanation from Vlad, on why he asked that question.

“Anong gusto mong sabihin ko?” Karl asked back, his voice cracking as tears continued to fall down his cheeks, as he stares at Vlad’s face, showing frustration, the frustration he couldn’t hold back.

Vlad shrugged his shoulders, his forehead creased, as he answered, “I don’t know,” he said, his eyes now staring at the face of his lover, as it’s now covered in tears, “maybe, tell them the truth,” he added, voice cracking in return, as he tried to stop his tears from falling, and his sobs from getting out his throat.

Karl tried to reach his lover’s hands, but Vlad pulled them away, “Vlad naman eh, alam mo namang-,” but Karl was cut off, as someone calls his name, coming from the door, he turned, his eyes widened in surprise.

“Karl?” the person coming inside said, Anna, as she carries two grocery bags, her eyes staring at Karl’s, “sinong kausap mo?” She asked as she stares at the shocked face of her friend, though she’s not sure of who’s more shocked, him or her.

“Anna, Anna,” Karl repeatedly said the person’s name, as he stood up, and walked towards his friend. “Anna, please magpapaliwanag ako,” he added, his voice sounding desperate.

“Karl, sinong kausap mo?” She asked again, her eyes staring at Karl with confusion. “Karl, sagutin mo ‘yung tanong ko, sinong kausap mo?” She repeated as Karl stood in front of him, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Karl froze in his place, paralyzed by the question, he looked down at his bare feet, as he tried to find the answer to that question. Well, he knows there’s only one right answer to that question, and Anna wouldn’t like it. 

“S-si Vlad,” he answered, his voice almost inaudible, gulping the growing lump down his throat, but Anna heard clearly, as her eyes started forming tears, placing her hand over her face, frustration overpowering her emotions. But he still tried to remain calm.

“Kailan pa?” Anna calmly asked again, her voice cracking, her eyes bawling out tears now, as she stared at her friend, her eyes trying to understand the guy, but she can’t. When she knows what’s happening to him, her mind can’t process how to calm herself down.

Karl shakes his head, “Anna please-,” but once again Anna cut him off.

“Kailan pa?” She repeated, more aggressive now, gone is the calm façade she was wearing, she’s frustrated, she’s confused, she’s freaking angry. “Tangina, Karl, sabihin mo kailan pa?!” She repeated, her anger showing as she raises her voice on Karl, startling Karl.

Karl, trembling in fear, shocked at the sudden raised voice of his friend, answered nervously, “last week.” 

Anna closed her eyes, trying to calm down, as to not shout at Karl again. She tried, she breathed heavily, but to no avail, “tangina, Karl, isang linggo mo na siyang nakikita hindi mo man lang kami sinabihan?” She exclaimed as she held her friend’s shoulders, they’re cold, trembling. Who wouldn’t be scared when your friend shouts at you?

Karl froze in his place, he’s looking at his now furious friend in front of him, as he tried to reason with her, “anong gusto mong gawin ko? Pag sinabi ko sa inyo, ilalayo niyo lang ulit siya sakin, ayoko nang malayo kay Vlad. Ayoko nang mawala ulit si Vlad sakin,” Karl said, his voice sounds so desperate, he’s starting to panic, Anna noticed. He’s having a panic attack, and they can’t prevent it from happening if they’re both uncalm, would they?

As Anna noticed her friend’s panic, she calmed down. Instead, her frustrations replaced by sudden worry, worry for her friend. She knows how Karl is when he’s panicking, and she wouldn’t want that. “Karl, Karl, kalma ka lang. Calm down, Karl,” she tried to calm him down, but he didn’t. He continued talking over and over again, repeating every sentence he says. 

“Hindi, ayoko nang malayo kay Vlad, Anna please. H’wag mo’kong ilayo sa kaniya please, hindi ko kayang malayo sa kanya, please, Anna,” Karl continued to say, he talks so fast, his voice desperate, then a sudden feeling hit him. He lost balance, his body starts giving up on him, he can’t breathe. “Anna,” he called, his voice is hoarse, his breathing starting to hitch, Anna panicked.

Anna immediately caught Karl, however heavy he may be, and laid him down the couch as she gets a glass of water, “oh Karl uminom ka muna. Kalma ka, h’wag ka munang magsalita, sumandal ka muna,” she suggested, though her words contradict what she feels now. She’s panicking, probably more than Karl now.

As Karl calms down, his breathing starting to come back to normal, his tears starting to reach an end, Anna held his hands. “Karl,” she said, a sad smile forming in his lips.

Karl smiled back, “hindi ko kayang wala siya, Anna,” he said, his voice sounding calm now, as he looks at Vlad, standing near the bathroom door. He smiled at him; Vlad smiled back. Anna noticed, she looked, no one’s there, she smiled.

Anna nodded, “nandun siya no?” She asked, she smiled at Karl, as tears roll down her cheeks, ‘ganun ba siya kasayang kasama si Vlad, na kaya niyang talikuran iba, makasama lang siya?’ she thought, making her tears pour down even more, as she tries to stop his sobs from leaving her lips, but failed.

Karl nodded; his smile widens as he looks at Vlad. He’s happy, but is it right? He’s happy, but he’s hurting other people, he’s happy, yet it doesn’t feel right.

Anna held Karl’s hand tighter, as she looks at his eyes, “Karl,” she started, as she rubs Karl’s hands, maybe preparing him for what she’s about to say, she smiled, “wala na si Vlad,” she said, getting Karl’s attention, he turned to Anna, a question mark can be read through his face, “patay na si Vlad,” as she said that she feels her tears roll down her cheeks, her sobs starting to suppress her voice, ever more so than earlier, “hindi na siya babalik.”

To Anna’s surprise, Karl smiled, “Anna, nandito siya,” he said, his smile doesn’t contain sadness nor does it show that he’s unaware, yet it feels different. As he wipes her tears with his hand, he whispered “nandito siya, kasama ko siya. Nandito siya,” as he points at his chest, at his heart. Anna smiled bitterly, as she looks at where Karl’s pointing, at his heart, where, he said, Vlad was. 

“Kung nandyan siya,” she said as she points at Karl’s chest, “pano ako?” she asked, as she looks at Karl, “pano kami? Si Vlad lang ba may lugar diyan sa puso mo, Karl? Na ayos lang na manirahan ka riyan, dito, kasama siya. Pano kami? Hanggang sa labas na lang ba kami, Karl? Di mo ba kami papapasukin?” She ended with another bitter smile as she looks at her friend, who’s in a state of shock with what she said.

“Anna,” Karl tried to answer, but Anna stood up before he can, picking her bag up, getting her phone out. Karl stayed sitting, waiting for what Anna will do.

“Tatawagan ko si Doc Pao, baka matulungan ka niya,” she said, as she dialed the doctor’s number, Karl stayed put, waiting for what might happen, as he feels someone sit beside him, Vlad. Vlad held Karl’s hands, he smiled, then leaned unto Karl, leaning unto his shoulders where he always leans to, his favorite spot of Karl.

“Karl,” he called. Karl turned to him, hummed silently, “I think she’s right,” he answered. Karl looked at Vlad, his back leaving the soft cushion of the couch, as he stares at the guy’s serious face.

Karl, surprised by Vlad’s words, unintentionally reacted, “ha?” getting Anna’s attention, before leaning back unto the couch, not minding the look Anna is giving him, “anong-anong she’s right?” He asked, now in a normal voice, stuttering slightly, as he didn’t mind Anna’s questioning stare.

Vlad leaned back to Karl, as he looks at their reflection on the tv screen, he sees it, it’s just Karl, he’s not in the reflection, “pakawalan mo na’ko,” he said, before leaning away from Karl. He continued talking, noticing Karl’s shock, “masyado na kitang nasasaktan, Karl, at alam kong alam mong pinaka ayaw kong nakikitang nasasaktan ka dahil sa’kin, Kaya pakawalan mo na’ko,” he added, as tears start flowing down his eyes again, he tried talking again, but his sobs overpower his voice. Instead, he waited for Karl’s response.

Karl tried reaching Vlad’s hands, but he can’t. His hand slipped Vlad’s, “di’ko kayang wala ka Vlad,” he said, as he once again started crying, he tried wiping his tears away, but they continued flowing down, “Vlad di'ko kaya,” he repeated, Vlad shake his head.

“Kaya mo Karl,” he answered, his voice coming back to him, but sobs still invade his lips as he continued speaking, “hindi ka naman magisa eh. Nandyan si Anna, si Tito Sants, sina Sue, pati pamilya mo, marami kang kasama Karl, di mo lang sila nabibigyan ng pansin kasi nakafocus ka sakin,” Vlad said, as he tried wiping his lover’s tears, but he can’t, his hand can’t touch his face, it's just phasing through. “At sabi mo nga di’ba, nandito ako,” he added as he points at Karl’s chest, “hindi ako aalis, nandiyan lang ako palagi,” he finished talking then smiled. Karl nodded in response. 

Vlad kissed him one last time, before he stood up, sighing deeply, as he starts walking to the door. Karl tried to stop him, but he can’t stand up, he doesn’t have the strength to. Instead, he just looked, he just watched as his greatest love walked away from him, for the second time.

Vlad reached the door, he stared at the open way in front of him, he looked back at Karl. Their eyes met, no words were said, but their eyes alone, scream their love for each other. Vlad smiled; Karl smiled back. Vlad turned away and started walking away. Karl turned back away, to the tv screen, where he sees his reflection, with a figure. Vlad, hugging him from behind. He tried to hug him back, but he can’t. Instead, he let the figure hug him, as tears fell from his eyes, he stares at their reflection, as Vlad hug him from behind. 

As Anna parked the car, turning the engine off as she glanced at the person sitting at the passenger seat, she asked, “sure ka na, Karl?” she’s worried, of course, she is. Who wouldn’t be when her friend visits the grave of his lover? His dead lover who he just talked to, a day before. 

Anna was about to open the door and go out, when Karl stopped her, “h’wag ka na bumaba,” he said, his head lowered, probably trying to hide his tears away from his friend. She would just try to push him to have her go out, so he talked again, “kaya ko na, Anna. Kaya ko, promise,” and as he said that, he raised his head, showing his wide smile, while tears pour down his cheeks. But his smile, even though covered with tears, stopped Anna. She hadn’t seen her friend smile like that, not since the times he’s with Vlad. So, she let him. 

As Karl steps outside the car, starting to walk to wherever he’s going, he looked back, seeing his friend smile at him, melted his heart. He turned back ahead of his way, passing through the different graves, flowers placed in front of them, candles melted all the way to the bottom. Then he stopped.

He knelt down, leveling down, as he places the flowers he brought, filling the only empty gap left, everywhere else, there are candles about to melt, there are flowers about to wither, as he stares at the flowers he brought. He smiled.

“Hi Vlad, happy birthday,” Karl started talking, greeting his boyfriend of his favorite occasion, brushing the slight dust off the surface, staring at the letters written in it. “Jose Vladimir Austria,” he read, then chuckled, “miss na kita,” he said, once again feeling the tears about to fall down, but he stopped them. “Ang iyakin ko naman,” he said to himself, laughing to himself, as he wiped the tears away, he looked back down, “ang tagal mo na ring wala, Vlad. Miss na kita,” then a thought invades his mind making him laugh once again, “sorry natawa lang ako. Nakakatawa lang, nasabi kong miss na kita kakakita ko lang sa’yo kahapon,” then laughed once again. Then, silence.

His eyes now fixated at the large stone in front of him, a sad smile crept his lips, “pero alam kong hindi ikaw ‘yun. Kasi kung ikaw ‘yun, nung una pa lang umalis ka na,” he said, removing his stare off the stone, now looking at the clouds above, covering the blue sky, “kasi ayaw mong masaktan ako. Ayaw mong makita akong umiyak ulit. Ayaw mong makita akong malungkot ulit, lalo na kung dahil sa’yo,” he looked back down, smiling once again. 

Minutes passed when Karl felt a presence sit beside him. He looked, shock written on his face as he recognizes who it was. She turned his face to him, and smiled, “what? Ikaw lang ba may karapatang bumisita kay Vladimir? Hmm?” Karl let out a chuckle, he missed her accent. 

“Ate Judit,” he exclaimed, as he accepted the hug she’s offering. And so, they hugged.

“Karl. Namiss kita,” she said, as they stop hugging, once again sitting down the grass, “I was wondering kung kailan ka ulit bibisita. It’s been a year since you did,” she said, worry consumed her voice, her eyes looking worryingly at Karl, as he faced her, “okay ka na ba, Karl?” she asked.

Karl stopped for a minute, his eyes looking down his feet, finding the answer to the question. ‘Is he okay?’ He asked himself that again and again and again before that day, and before, he’s sure his answer is no. But now, maybe the answer changed.

“Di ko pa po sigurado, Ate,” he answered instead, “pero umaayos na po,” he added. He told the truth, he’s not sure still. But one thing’s he’s sure of, he’s starting to be okay. Judit nodded to his answer, smiling.

“Good to know, good to know,” she said, as she neats the flowers in front of her brother’s tomb, “you know he wouldn’t like it if makita niyang nagmumukmok ka because of him,” Judit said, as she turned to Karl, “baka nga multuhin ka pa niyan, sabihan ka ‘can you please stop crying’ or something,” she added, mimicking her brother’s voice, making them both laugh. ‘Seeing Karl happy, that’s what would Vlad want. And I hope you’re seeing this Vladimir,’ Judit thought, looking at the sky as if talking to her brother through the clouds.

As Anna parked the car once again, but now, in front of a house. She turned to Karl, who’s nervously fidgeting through his hands, his breathing seems normal, but she’s sure, his heart is beating so fast. She held his trembling hands, startling Karl at first, but soon, calming him down.

“Sure ka na, Karl?” Anna asked the same question she asked earlier when they were visiting Vlad. Which Karl noticed.

“Yan din tinanong mo sa’kin kanina eh,” he exclaimed, making his friend laugh. Why is it even a big deal, so what if it’s the same question, right?

“Yun na nga, kung kinaya mo kanina. E’di kakayanin mo rin ngayon,” she said, trying to cheer up his nervous friend, who feels like he’s about to get his first tooth extraction, or maybe the time his father tried to teach him to swim, even after the devastating incident that happened- ah shit, Karl shouldn’t be thinking about that, should he? 

Karl, even with his shaky voice and heart beating fast still tried to protest, “kaya ko na Anna,” he said when Anna’s about to go out again, but now, Anna seems to not be taking any suggestions of her being left inside the car again.

“Karl, h’wag ka nang maarte, dali na,” she just said, and continued to get out anyway, even with her friend trying to stop her. 

Karl went out, shaking his nerves away, but still. He can feel his heartbeat through his chest, almost ripping his ribs off with the strong beats of it. His hand still shaking, even with him holding them, they’re trembling, like his knees. Fortunate for him, he can balance himself even with the tremble of his knees.

He stepped inside the house, it’s not too big, it’s not small either. It’s just enough for a family with one son, I guess. He stepped inside, seeing his friend comfortably sitting down on the couch, he glances the other way, seeing two figures, looking at him. Their eyes, contrary to Karl’s overthinking, bears longingness, worry, guilt. They quickly walked to him, hugging him as they approached. He hugged them back.

“Anak, anak sorry. Sorry talaga. Di namin sinasadya, anak,” the woman said, her voice sounded apologetic, her tears starting to soak them three, her sobs starting to invade her words.

“Anak, sorry,” the man said, his voice sounds hoarse, sobbing like the woman. “Sorry talaga anak, di namin sinasadya,” he repeated what the woman said, their hug went tighter, seeming that they were not going to release the other.

Karl smiled, he never thought he would ever hear that, he never thought he would ever hug his parents again, he thought he’s alone. No, he’s not, as Vlad said, he’s not alone. Everyone’s there for him, he just didn’t see them. He’s never alone.

“Ma, Pa, bakla po ako,” Karl said, but the two stopped him from continuing. 

“Anak di mo na kailangang sabihin, kasi kahit ano ka pa. Tatanggapin ka namin, okay?” his mother reassured, leaving Karl once again shocked. As tears unconsciously form in his eyes, starting to pour down. He was about to wipe them down when another hand did. His mother’s.

He smiled, feeling his mother’s hands wipe his tears, it’s as if he’s a little kid again. She smiled back, she turned back to her husband, who’s also smiling, as he looks at his son. They laughed, looking at the messy face they were wearing, tears drying off their cheeks, their hair messed.

They hug once again. Karl, hugging his family again. He never thought he’d get to do that again. But look at him now, finally opening his eyes, realizing, Vlad’s not the only person who loves him, he’s not the only one he has. Karl has his family, his friends, people who love him. And he’s pretty sure, Vlad will be happy to see him happy, wherever he is.


End file.
